"Spiritually Speaking" by Rev. Carla Golden

Playing the Cards You Are Dealt: Randy Pausch & "The Last Lecture"

Randy Pausch made his transition last week. His talk, “The Last Lecture” has had over five million hits on the internet. People are hungry for the inspiration and encouragement that Randy offered in his talk, which was given to the students at Carnegie Mellon, but which was really written for the benefit of his three young children.

 

Randy knew that he would not be there for his children as they grew up, and he wanted to leave them with a message that they could listen to time and time again and which would help them when they faced challenges in their own lives.

 

“We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand,” said Randy.

 

Life dealt Randy pancreatic cancer, one of the deadliest forms. I have known two people who died of this disease. But during the course of his illness, with the time he had left, Randy lived life to the utmost. He didn’t spend much time feeling sorry for himself and he didn’t want anyone else to pity him either.

 

What’s up for you in your life now? What cards are you holding? Are things looking rather bleak? I would suggest that you pick up a copy of Randy’s book, co-authored with Jeffrey Zaslow, which is also entitled The Last Lecture. It’s a relatively quick read filled with Pausch’s wisdom and humor. Small enough to fit into your purse or briefcase, it’s great reading for commuting on the train or for those times when you’re sitting waiting for Mother Nature to take it’s course.

 

I’ll be doing some blogs on some of the topics that Randy wrote about in his book.  In the meantime, if you’d like to listen to Randy’s lecture, which is on YouTube, here is a link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo .  

An "Act of God"?

For many years I never thought about the idea that in insurance policies they had the exclusionary statement for events termed "an act of God." I just never considered it. But now that I am older and see things differently in terms of spirituality, I question this idea.

Before the Jews experienced their Babylonian exile, they saw everything that happened as caused by God. If God was angry with people, he sent floods or famine or locust plagues to punish them. As a result of their exile, and most likely their exposure to Zoroastrianism, they adopted a different idea of God and saw most of the bad things as happening as caused by an outside force, Satan or the devil. Jesus, of course, later helped us to see God as a loving father and also as "spirit" or an indwelling presence within all of us.

And yet, we still label floods, hurricanes and tornados as an "act of God". Why do we still blame God for these "natural disasters"? I don't believe that God causes these things. We know from meterologists that these things have explanations. There are no mysteries or mythologies behind such things. And yet...we still call them "an act of God." Perhaps it is time we stopped blaming God and started taking responsibility for some of these things. Our planet is experiencing vast changes (call it "climate change," "global warming" or whatever) because of what mankind has done through destruction of our environment. Maybe those insurance policies should be changed to reflect this by saying "an act of mankind" and stop blaming God.

Celebrating "Mother" Nature

Today I was running errands and was on one of the busiest boulevards in town--there are four lanes on either side of a grassy meridian. Brake lights suddenly flashed on the car ahead of me and all the traffic slowed and then came to a stop. A mother and a father goose cautiously stepped off the meridian and started to cross the street with their six baby goslings. The mother and father carefully looked out for their brood, walking on either side of the goslings protectively and glancing all around to make sure that the coast was clear. They looked up at us drivers in our cars as they slowly waddled across, perhaps silently communicating their request for our patience and compassion. We drivers sat mesmerized and smiling as we watched the little procession. I shifted my car into park, realizing this was going to take awhile. 

This mother and father were no different than any of the parents in their vans and SUVs. They were doing the best they could to guide and protect their children and hoping for the best. I silently prayed for their safety as they ambled across, taking their time, the little ones trying to keep up with mom and dad. As they all hopped up onto the curb on the other side of the street, I blessed them on their way.

Slowly, the cars began to move forward, and I couldn't help but notice that the lady in the car next to me was smiling as were her two children in the backseat. The man in the BMW on the other side of me had put his cell phone away and he, too, was smiling. It was a good reminder to all of us to slow down and take notice of the little things in life, the surprises that mother nature provides along the way. 

Accepting Responsibility

                                           

I grew up with a religious belief system where God, as that supreme being in the clouds, was responsible for all that happened to us. It was very Old Testament. If we were experiencing challenges, it was because God was punishing us.

As I explored new belief systems, I encountered the idea that we may not be responsible for what happens to us, but rather how we experience it--the meaning we assign to it and how we choose to respond to it. Victor Frankyl's book, Man's Search for Meaning, was my first encounter with this idea. During his incarceration in a Nazi concentration camp, death and indignities were part of his daily life. Frankyl had the realization that, although he could not change the fact that he was in this situation, he could control how he chose to react to it. He could choose his own behavior and attitude towards it. Frankyl's book changed my life.

Later, I found New Thought and Unity and began to read about the "Law of Mind Action" and the "Law of Attraction". I found this to be very empowering and it helped me to see my life from a much higher perspective. It required me to see that I (my subconscious) had drawn to me experiences that reflected my soul's level of overall consciousness as well as those situations that might enable my soul to learn and grow as part of my human experience.

It is a hard principle to embrace for most people and I don't think the greater population will accept it. To say that we choose to be molested or to die in a car accident is beyond belief for most people. For me, it took my acceptance of reincarnation to see the bigger picture. If I believed that I lived only one lifetime and then it was over, it would be more difficult to accept this idea. But seeing myself as a soul that has been through many lifetimes gives me a different viewpoint. In seeing the eternal life of my soul, I have accepted that I ultimately have responsibility for what I experience and how I experience it. It is empowering when you look at it. It means that if we create our life experiences, we can choose to create different experiences if we don't like what we see in our past.

When we choose to accept this idea of responsibility, it can be easy to start blaming ourselves for what we've experienced. But blaming and punishing ourselves is not the answer. That takes us back to our Old Testament mentality. Jesus spoke often about forgiveness. It was very simple to him...he said, "Go and sin no more." In other words, you've realized your mistake, don't do it again. It is about coming into awareness and growing in consciousness.

All this being said, I sometimes would like to feel that there is a protector on a white cloud who will rescue me from some of my antics. When I gave up that idea it was like finding out there was no Santa Claus. But when I accepted the idea that the same Spirit that was within Jesus was also within me, it was powerful. It meant that I was never without God. I didn't have to pray to a God outside of me and hope he would respond.

Anyway, that's just a bit of my journey and what I've come to believe. It's obviously something that we each need to make up our minds about.

Crucifixions and Resurrections

When my first husband came to me and asked for a divorce, I felt like my heart had been pierced. As I look back on it now, that was a crucifixion experience for me. I felt like a part of me died that day. My trust evaporated and a hollowness set in that I thought would never be filled again.

But I recovered over time and learned to trust again gradually. My resurrection came little by little, like the sunrise coming over the horizon. My confidence grew and my self-esteem increased. It was a blossoming, of sorts, that continues to this day. Sometimes resurrections take more than three days. But the important thing is that they occur. Just as light follows the darkness and spring follows winter, the small deaths in our lives lead to new life and new beginnings.

The Power of Thoughts on the Unborn

Not long ago I heard about some research that was being done with expectant mothers. It seems that they have found that the thoughts and attitudes that a pregnant mother has will effect the child that she is carrying.

If a mother is consistently worried, tense or afraid, she releases cortisol, which is often called the "stress hormone". This cortisol is also shared with the baby. Over time, the baby's body begins to prepare it for stress and it comes into the world with almost an expectancy of anxiety and fear.

See how powerful our thoughts are? Not only do they effect us, but also our unborn children. It would seem to make sense that anything we can do to help an expectant mother remain calm and relaxed would be a good thing for both mother and baby. Meditation would be great.

But even if you're not a pregnant mother, be aware of the thoughts you are having during the day and the possible effect that those thoughts are having on your body. If you find yourself feeling anxious or stressed and you don't have time to meditate, take a moment to do some deep breathing or do some yoga stretches. And focus on your blessings. That alone will make a noticeable difference.

A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose

In case you haven't heard, Oprah has picked Eckhart Tolle's new book, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose, as her latest book club selection. She is also doing an online course with Tolle, starting March 3. This course is free and, so far, over 100,000 people have signed up.

What is the book about? Well, I have to admit that I've only just begun to read it--I'm on page 54. What the cover says is that this is an expansion of the ideas in his  book, The Power of Now, which I read and found to be very inspirational.

According to the back cover, A New Earth is about "transcending our ego-based state of consciousness" to help us find personal happiness but also to help end conflict and suffering throughout the world.

If you'd like to read more about Eckhart Tolle and the class, here is a link:

http://www.oprah.com/obc_classic/webcast/begin/eckharttolle_invitation.jsp

Whoever You Are, You Are Important

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting --
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

~ Mary Oliver ~

How to Reduce Stress

My mother-in-law sent me these ideas on "How to Reduce Stress". I thought they made a lot of sense and wanted to share them with you.

1. Pray 

2. Go to bed on time. 

3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed. 

4. Say "No" to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health. 

5. Delegate tasks to capable others. 

6. Simplify and unclutter your life. 

7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.) 

8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places. 

9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together. 

10. Take one day at a time. 

11. Separate worries from concerns . If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety . If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it. 

12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases. 

13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc. 

14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.     

15. Do something for the Kid in you everyday. 

16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line. 

17. Get enough rest. 

18. Eat right. 

19 Get organized so everything has its place. 

20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life. 

21. Write down thoughts and inspirations. 

22. Every day, find time to be alone. 

23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray. 

24. Make friends with positive people. 

25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand. 

26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good "Thank you God ." 

27. Laugh. 

28. Laugh some more! 

29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all. 

30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can). 

31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).   

32. Sit on your ego. 

33 Talk less; listen more. 

34. Slow down. 

35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe. 

36 . Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before.

And remember, have faith that the indwelling presence of GOD within you has the power to turn things around.

Beautiful People Do Not Just Happen

The most beautiful people are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen." --Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

A beautiful person sent me this quote yesterday. She has been going through some challenges, or "growth opportunities", as some of us have called them. If you are also going through a G.O. right now, isn't it somewhat comforting to know that you will come out of it as a more compassionate person, someone who is better able to help others?

Have you ever shared your sorrows with someone and you could tell that they had no understanding for what you were experiencing? And haven't there been others who you shared your pain with and you could see in their eyes compassion and empathy and maybe even a few tears? You knew that they understood.

When you first saw the title to this article, you probably thought that it was about physical beauty. Am I right? Well, it's time to look at beauty in a different way and see that physical attractiveness is merely that. But true beauty is something that radiants from the inside out.

(The picture is of Amy Turner Tunick who made her transition back in 2006. She lived with pancreatic cancer for 32 mos. Beautiful, inside and out, Amy wrote the "Feel Good" column in a local newspaper in Florida during her illness. She inspired many to stay positive and to never lose hope.)